Do that* to me 896 more times ヽ(。´▽`。)ノ。。！！ やっほぃ♪

(This post contains visuals and text which are of a mature nature so if you’re under the age of 18 or that sort of thing bothers you, please refrain from viewing this post. Thank you. =) )

Since the dawn of the printed word, it seems that our published media (in particular, some our beloved magazines) have taken aim in great detail and length in an endless effort to help humankind with the unraveling of that dark (if you do it* with the lights off =P) and mysterious (if you still aren’t sure of what the opposite sex wants =O) thing called sex* (aka: the exchanging of bodily fluids for a variety of reasons =). And while some may aim to procreate, others may aim to “practice” and still there are others whom through the act of practicing inevitably end up procreating ^^. But no matter your goal one thing is for certain, in that there will be that non-stop barrage of articles of tips and advice on said subject given from both genders regarding every which way or approach which one deems beneficial~♥.

Since my latter teens it’s been issues of Cosmopolitan, Elle and the like all giving advice on getting the right look of attraction and countless articles on sex* and what “guys want” or “how to get the guy”, etc. And while surely editorial and author genders have grown much more diverse in both men’s and women’s publications over time, there was a period when you basically read magazines tailored for your sex which in turn produced advice from same said sex. However sometimes wouldn’t it be interesting to hear printed advice and experiences from the opposite sex for a change?

But wait. I’m getting a bit ahead of myself. Firstly, here’s a quick refresher on what we’ve covered here so far:

~Chapter one~

“Boob-ology”

Boob(s). It’s completely synonymous with technical speech and yet have you ever stepped back and taken your eyes off of them long enough or even for just a few seconds during your day to stop and ponder just where did the terminology ‘Boob(s)’ originate from (・c_・;)？And while many a guy likes to make contact with them, study them (aka staring/ogling) or even cuddle with them (when permitted =P) it may be time to learn a bit more about their organic origins in laments terms, or rather think evolution meets the male brain on a trip to your local historical museum….ahhh ancient wall paintings are so so educational…(^q^)!

Take for instance,

exhibit 1:

There “will be” a test to see what you’ve learned and retained so don’t just stare @ the images and take in some boob~ology101!! =P.

Boobs.

Gotta ~♥~ them,

whether they’re yours or you’re just ‘using’ them on men (=.

~Chapter two~

“I Want Candy”

Sure some of us have experimented or heard of flavored bodily treats and lubrications.

However….

..Atlanta Hawks basketball, who knew that they were handing out actual candy (thankfully not lube! =P) these days during games?? Looks like only the expensive courtside seats though get this special sugary treatment~*. And just think how much your child would love and appreciate the extra candy goodness~♥! I wonder if the Lakers give out candy too court side? I wonder if Jack Nicholson likes getting candy?

But getting back to boob-ology….

..Take for instance this kid

↓↓↓

~I want candy! (it’s the candy? the candy right?….)~

Aww that’s so sweet!!! I mean all of that candy she’s got in her tray!! =P Children’s honest reactions are so priceless and you gotta love that! He’s openly expressing just how much he likes something* a whole lot better than any candy! (。ーωー。)笑。

(sigh…..) I still recall the very first time a guy in high school showed interest in my candy* and that conversation went something like this:

A High School Flashback

(And I’m paraphrasing here as that was a while ago)

• Classmate who will never see me naked: “What did you do this past weekend?”
• Me: “Not much, just went to see a movie with friends.”
• CWWNSMN: “Hey I can’t figure out how you ever manage to leave home.”
• M: “What do you mean?”
• CWWNSMN: “I would be too distracted.”
• M: “???”
• CWWNSMN: “You get to see boobs anytime you want… you just look down.”
• M: “(-∀-`)…”

And with so much thoughts of candy* here it’s only appropriate to take a moment to listen to the classic candy song ♪♪~♥…

~Bow Wow Wow “I Want Candy” (music video)~

~~~~~~~

~~~

~

Remember a few years back when Windows 8 introduced its picture password feature which was being heavily featured on ads where you can customize your very own sequencing of finger swipes across your very own chosen image which then enables your device to be unlocked..that was such a fun new feature right ＼(^o^)／ ☆！！！

Recall looking for that perfect photo image to use for your password? And how much like one’s wallpaper or screensaver, how it can be a most daunting task. Like it must be something or someone which or whom greatly appeals to you, something cute, something funny, something nostalgic? In any case we’ve all gone searching through our personal archives on some occasion seeking out that perfect image which will greet you while you work or are at play with your device and while family photos or get together types surely warm you with fuzziness and are great!…..

..why not something a tad bit more fun…(^q^)!

Take for example this ↓↓↓ :

(Nostalgic Windows 8 picture password Example)

Or perhaps you’d opt for a bit more ‘advanced’ password such as this one ↓↓↓ so that Uncle Bob doesn’t ‘accidentally get into your pc while you’re not looking (-∀-`)！

(“Advanced” User Window’s 8 picture password)

There. Your picture password searching woes have been solved.

Now if only I can find a hot tub time machine so that I’m able to deliver this message to you back when it “mattered” most =)!

ヽ(。´▽`。)ノ。。！！

~Chapter three~

 

“Our SeXual Generation”

As generations transcend culture, sometimes I think our very own values and beliefs can become blurred or even reinvented in time. Such is a point brought to my attention by my closest of friends in “Couscous” (her given nickname; created by her near and dear friends after her one night of consuming said food and later seeing it once again after doing something* with her boyfriend which gagged up said food =O In hindsight I guess oral* is kinda like swimming where one should wait for awhile, you know before going into the water to swim or participating in such carnal acts =) ) and after doing a bit of research amongst a group of girl friends it seems to be much more of a dating turn~off than guys of this generation realize. First though let’s be honest about how we “got here” in that maybe the guys aren’t so much to blame but rather some images and stereotypes came into play and over time blurred the whole “what a girl wants” idealism through what I can’t describe in any other way than it being the YouPornTube generation~. Just imagine you’re dating a guy (rather Couscous is dating a guy…) and let’s call him “Zak” (as I know of no one named “Zak” and neither does Couscous =) ) and by your fifth date and after all of the rated PG~13 stuff presents the night where you think it’d be okay to take things to the next in consummating your relationship♥ he thinks it a good idea to try to reenact a visual or maybe an “act” from one of his favorite porn scenes upon you =O. If you’re a guy and you’re reading this you so know exactly what I’m speaking of and in today’s generation and unlike those of the past where maybe guys were maybe lucky enough to find a copy of mom’s Sear’s catalog with lingerie models modeling your basic underwear to stain or then there’s well…National Geographic I hear if you go back even further, in today’s generation (and I shudder to think of our youth already knowing the use of the term “money shot” by early grade school) there’s the internet age where there’s most likely a near infinite supply of online videos showing the aforementioned “money shots” to chests and faces really??..all dated back to the age of dial~up so we’re talking about a lot of minds out there thinking this is like sex education for them and it equating to what girls like or want. And to think that technology and its advances are idealized to mean exactly that, advancement in our lifestyles and culture for the better of mankind…..wait that’s always said as ‘mankind’ but what of ‘womankind?’ Seriously.

Some girl friends say that at times they feel so surreally as if suddenly transported into a porn movie during lovemaking and all after things were gooooiiiing so great!!!! with the in~and~out and sweet notions and caresses. Of course I think at times the amount of alcohol involved on a date deafens better judgment but still if he manages to remember protection and further get it in then why does this act of porn suddenly embody the one you thought you were so close to? And it doesn’t end there as if asking for anal sex was so much the norm as it isn’t….so isn’t reaLLy!!! And imagine the shock to the guy who up to that very moment thought it so enjoyable to every girl on earth and likewise how she just can’t wait to feel him between her breasts as well =O. They’re actors/actresses in the very basic essence of the meaning..for one you can act like you absolutely love♥ natto and cuddle it, drop some drool on it and massage it all around in front of a camera when you’re getting paid and laid to do it~. I think if you paid me enough i’d show natto a good time~* too ー(*￣Ｏ￣)ノ！～！～！

It’s almost as if I would consider the guy who comes in you considerate and just how desensitized have we become? I mean with social media and clips being uploaded non~stop it’s like the best isn’t even good enough anymore as sensationalism has got the upper hand on us in that we can no longer just view a triple lindy as being awesome as someone’s already uploaded a triple lindy involving skis, a ramp over Caesar’s Palace and two cases of Red~Bull and a giant panda bear juggling cucumbers while a certain Justin watches. And likewise with the “analogy” to sex, is sex with a guy coming in you no longer enough….I mean not with the gia~normous elephant in the room aka: the gia~normous elephant w/ wi~fi porn on his iPad thinking is that all you’re going to do? And getting back to the it’s not the guy’s fault theory, who can blame a penis who’s been raised since the dawn of dial~up porn availability into believing that the act of coming somewhere else besides in her is the normal thing to do? In some ways I think porn itself has transcended social conduct beyond what it used to be, you know it used to represent what the lonely guy used to use for sex but now it’s become like his enlightenment into how he thinks he can enhance it. Really guys it’s so not a roadmap or a tutorial or anything of the sort. You see when you push fantasy* beyond what it’s meant to be in its media/ entertainment stature you’re blurring the lines beyond naturalism~. And I’m not a prude, far from it but rather than guys taking the preordained notion that we’d enjoy a facial acting like we haven’t had anything to eat in weeks and that your penis is about to miraculously produce a meal….just consider exactly how you’re finishing. Yes. With your hand and that itself lends to what I imagine to be countless times you’ve done it before but y~es before your very own pixelated screen and not on us~. Just give girls the opt~in or op~out opportunity first and please don’t spring it upon us like a surprise birthday party where the guest has no idea of what she’s about to receive~ (・_・)。

(post header cap courtesy of “Fred Flintstone”as he remarks his porn upbringing to the stone age so yes he comes in our biologically correct place*and hasn’t considered otherwise without consent =) ).

~Chapter four~

“Do that* to me one more time”

Take a moment to let that Captain & Tennille song run its course in your mind’s eye….

..now getting back to where we began with the whole issue of growing up with (for the most part) articles where our own sex is giving the advice via our favorite printed media.

Take now for instance the problem completely adverted as the issue atop which btw is Japan’s very own version of Playboy, where they publish it on a weekly basis, here featuring my reasoning for getting these: That being Covergirl Miyawaki Sakura~♥!~! =)

That and also of course!….

..Yes! The articles! ^^

Here in particular I wanted to share how this men’s magazine presents a woman’s take on what Japanese fondly refer to as “petting” or as others may call it… foreplay っo(*´∀｀)o！I mean whom better to let you know of what they really want* and how they want it* if you’re a guy, the girl of course =).

Okay so there is a “bit” of girl x girl action going on here (￣▽￣) however do note the step by step visuals and text which all are directed at the rights and wrongs (NG = wrong/no good (*≧∀≦)☆★ ↓！often seen in game shows and the like in Japan ）of getting it* on as liked. Now to be sure, not all girls are alike and likewise not all of our wants and “needs” aren’t alike. I mean there are a couple of tiny details in which I’d prefer differently from the article/tutorial below but really they’re minute for the most part =).

~Chapter five~

“The erogenous zones”

Remember when Monica from “Friends” (btw my all-time favorite♥ comedy sitcom! =)…. taught Chandler all about a women’s erogenous zones? Sure she pointed out just seven, so let’s just say that a girl’s playground just got a whole lot bigger here ^^*. As for me, nine is a forbidden zone!!!!!!!!!!!! I’m ticklish beyond words…. so sad I can’t ever get a massage there (´⌒｀。) 。

Now whomever came up with the whole baseball/first base ~~>home plate sexual* analogy was clearly out of the ballpark!! Really four? No NO NO NO

NO…(u_u*).

~Intermission~

..And we’re back ヽ(。´▽`。)ノ。。！！

~Chapter six~

“You’ve Got Porn!! (*´艸`) ”

Okay so full disclosure here: the only actual “porn” I have are of the erotic fictional type as in GOOD reading~♥ ^^*!~!

However, and this caught me by surprise for the most part as I imagined it most likely existed however I wasn’t aware to what extent it existed…. that being animated erotica to this extent. =O A dear guy friend who’s name is being withheld to protect the “guilty” =P shared this anime with me a few days ago (It’s on VHS =)!) and now he’s let me encode it to share here with you. Now this is really really mature as in x-rated I’d say even though it’s notable that no actual genitalia was drawn here (breasts though are most present, and REALLY large anime breasts I may add… never imagined the day would come where an animated movie gives me boob-envy =/!) ..but nonetheless the sexual aspect is VERY explicit for sure. So to reiterate, as stated at the very beginning of this post:

(This post/anime movie contains visuals and text/dialogue which are of a mature nature so if you’re under the age of 18 or that sort of thing bothers you, please refrain from viewing this post/video. Thank you. =) )

~“F3 (Frantic, Frustrated & Female)” anime~

This is a mini-movie, only about 26 minutes long.

And to summarize, not all girls can orgasm* easily or even regularly for that matter I mean a lot depends on the guy, your relationship and what he does* and yet it still may be allusive for some, ahem…. I just happen to be one of the ~lucky~ one’s who doesn’t even need a happy~clitoris to do so (*´∀｀) うれしー♥♥♥！But anyway, as aforementioned there are so many different turn-ons* many of which will only work for some and not so much for others. So really communication is what’s really needed to find that happy~place for both parties ^^*.

Aside from the blatant nature of this anime (mind you I’ve never seen a vibrator as some of these and OMG that mad scientist with those zillion tentacle like thingies …..both GROSS and DISTURBING!!!!!! (・д・`*)！！！…this anime’s quite funny!~! Okay the sister act here is a lot scary like if I had a sister there is Nooooooooooo way she’s doing that to me like ever LOL! But to be able to orgasm* like that? That is both intriguing and bizarre at the same time, but anyway you’ll just have to watch to find out what I mean about this anime’s search for the BIG O~♥ and its amusing out~“come*”ヽ(。´▽`。)ノ。。！！

~fin~