「Featured Post」“Um, so a bikini model walks into a bar full of zombies…

…..and the bartender says: “is it *cold* in here or are you just happy to see me?”…(^q^)

~Warning! spoiler alert!~ (you may want to avoid my babbling here if you intend on watching this movie~.

“Onechanbara” can be purchased here at Amazon.com.

To begin with the very premise of this video game turned movie is quite a visual I think…no matter if you’re a girl or a guy but what you may be expecting or hoping to see may have you at odds as the movie progresses. I really enjoyed the movie and found it most entertaining but it may not be for everyone so let’s take a look at some of the aspects of the film in a simple breakdown~.

Many of the elements that make up a good zombie movie are very present in this film…..take for example……

…first and foremost the disturbing make-up all of the undead are wearing. Very well done and even hip on some levels as these are modern day zombies and not the same ones that your parents watched on television on a late Saturday night. Most have all the “right moves” too~ as in the slightly clumsy stutter two-step which most boys learned early on whenever their girlfriend really accidentally stepped on his toes while wearing her heels….I swear it wasn’t me though..okay maybe just twice (。ーωー。). But zombies must and I mean must be able to quickly turn on the afterburners at any given moment….and especially when the hero or heroine or any survivor is in dire straights of getting eaten alive!! Just as the camera has long added 1-3 pounds to your lips….I mean hips…(u_u*), the camera also adds speed and agility to once slow moving zombies whenever you’re freaking out or outnumbered~ (゜Д゜;). It’s so amusing how they always do that…walk slowly ever so slowly as they lull you into a false sense of security that they can’t catch you and then suddenly!!!!….they’re running after you at full speed!!! 😮

Also the landscape and most of the scenes should be shot in darkness which helps with the creepy factor where things go bump in the night and don’t zombies just look way more cool during the night than during the day?…although they do appear in both night and day light here and when one considers the masterful way in which “28 days later” was shot it really can work in both environments equally if done right~….so consider this point completely optional although in horror movies the daytime always seems to last only a few minutes movie time while the night goes on for at least an hour and forty five minutes to two hours if the movie is long.

“Onechanbara” also incorporates in the much needed crazy doctor guy…you know he has one odd eye one good eye and only the most bad intentions as he generally wants to redefine mankind with some sort of sinister plot which he most likely thought up one late afternoon after he had hit his head somewhere (・д・`*)!

And the seven degrees of crazy doctor guy’s association chart does make an effort to create a storyline in “Onechanbara” by ways of the flashback scene~ but not knowing a thing about the video game on which this movie is based I can only wonder if this is actually based on a storyline in the game or if the director wanted to further develop the characters themselves.

Enter in our main heroine “Aya” played by a most sexy and often times even *sultry* Otoguro Eri♥ who lops off zombie heads, legs, arms, etc. etc. first and asks questions later~. And I so love her cowboy hat as it reminds me of Burst Angel Meg!! o(*´∀`)o゛And while Aya isn’t sleeping or destroying all zombies in sight she’s looking for…..

…the crazy “doctor” guy who began all of this mayhem in the first place with his syringe and bad bad judgement (+_+)…but wait there’s more!….

You see Aya’s sister “Saki” has developed a lifetime grudge against Aya and all humanity for that matter as she is responsible for killing their father as a result of jealousy brought upon by their father’s favoring of Aya when they both were little and still in swordsmanship training~….add to that Saki’s willingness to help that crazy “doctor” guy and you thought you had family issues (*≧m≦)! And the feeling is very mutual in Aya’s distaste of Saki for what she’s done~.

The finesse comes in with the entrance of “Reiko” played by Hashimoto Manami♥ and she really really appears like a model!! She’s so *beautiful*!! Reiko brings compassion and while the storyline may have been stretching the outer seams of our patience at times and in particular when a lone orphaned girl is found all alone and Reiko really takes to caring for her as a mother would…..her gunplay is not unlike that of a first person shooter. In a sense very video game like and that brings us to…..

..the fight choreography itself. It could not be any less video game like in the very nature that it was all shot~.

You really feel as if you’re watching for the most part a video game scene brought to life with the very movements and mechanics of the video game characters taking place on screen in real human form~. Aya & Saki move like the wind darting every which way in precise attack, evade and defense movements which zig~zag across the screen in lightning if not slightly robotic like fashion at times. But some of the fight choreography does instill some realism to the screen but overall I found it to be really drowned out by the digital effects and character flash movements that the film opted for.

So it’ll really come down to a matter of personal taste and if the viewer likes/dislikes the way cgs are used throughout the film as……

….zombie heads and limbs will literally fly! (・д・`*)……

and all in a fury of mostly sped up superhuman attacks and slashes which blur across the screen in sometimes unconceivable ways…but yes in a video game way always~. But truly only some video game fighters are this way as “Onimusha” I thought was really well made in the sense of the realism the battle movements provided but then I was usually mostly thinking about how the character was modeled after Kaneshiro Takeshi♥ so .………(゜∀゜)………!

And while some zombies splatter and split by either Aya’s blade or Reiko’s gun….others tend to splish~splash and simply disintegrate on the spot which has also been done in other realms of horror films and while there’s really no authorative book on the way zombies go bye-bye I guess it’s rather imaginative to have them being disposed of in various ways throughout the film~. =)

Just be sure to have tons of zombies on screen at any given moment!! I mean lots and lots of them just everywhere…oozing out of the walls, crawling on the ground, flying in from overhead, coming out of the ground when possible…just lots of zombies all the time……….what am I talking about? (*´艸`)…

And unlike zombie movies of the past……..

….”Onechanbara” also introduces the use of the *power up*! \(^o^)/☆ And wer’e talking light em’ up and blast them all away in a single strike of immense power!!


Perhaps a good analogy may be comparing Aya’s *power up* to that of FFVII’s “Cloud” where by building up your weopon you then get to unleash a single one time blast from a variety of possibilities if you’ve acquired them~. I’m guessing that maybe there’s a zombie head count being considered here (・c_・;)?in order for Aya to unleash her ultimate strike but that may be anyone’s guess and especially mine as I’ve never actually viewed or played this video game as aforementioned..(._.;). Or perhaps it’s just based on pure anger as it appears in the film when Aya in particular is very ticked off at some very persistent and bad zombies~. For me I *wish* it were based on PMS as then I could use it at least once a month within a particular time period but of course I’d only use it for good………………(。ーωー。)~♥!

So we’ve met our main heroine of this zombified story along with a most capable gunner in Reiko…but I know you’re just wondering so much, what of the teddy bear from “Gokusen♥” on her right?……

He’s “Katsuji” played by Waki Tomohiro and he’s usually in dire need of Aya’s help but he’s survived somehow…somehow this long as her partner in disposing of zombies although he’s usually hiding..(・_・);

However what I find to be even more mysterious is how Katsuji is the only main character who appears to have not taken a shower for a few years or at least since the zombie invasion/spreading began σ(゜□゜;)! Aya…Reiko…Saki…the crazy “doctor” guy and even some of the zombies look much cleaner than poor Katsuji and for the most part simply immaculate! (;´□`) How is this possible? (・c_・;)?Maybe his acting is just that much more authentic….okay I’m kidding!…(^q^)!

And before I forget….there is the mysterious but very gratuitous bikini and what does it all mean? If going into deep zombie battle wouldn’t one want to be much more protected in their choice of wardrobe? Or maybe Aya was at the beach the very moment that the zombie outbreak occurred in her hometown leaving her with nothing else to wear. Hmm…Aya moves better and more freely this way instead of in armor or jeans & a cute♥ top? Or this could be a tactical idea gone awry~!….Aya was thinking…..bikini♥ = male distraction = zombies going goo~♥ goo~♥ on her ( ̄▽ ̄)! But what of the female zombies who will be immune to the powers of the bikini♥?!!!…(^q^)


The final showdown as you maybe had *wished* Σ( ̄◇ ̄*)!is as surreal as visions may appear in one’s deep imagination~. The meeting’s *climax* comes complete with seifuku♥, a large field, cowboy hat♥, bikini♥ and samurai swords♥..and just when you thought Aya may have defeated her sister Saki! ↓↓↓ or that…

…..this post was finally over (・д・`*) there’s just one more thing to mention……and for anyone who regularly plays fight games or RPGs♥ you know the feeling of just having triumphed over the final boss stage when suddenly he/she/it grows into something inevitably stronger…more powerful & menacing and larger….maybe grows another head and wings….adds on many tentacles and now has more hit points than you can fathom and is flying and laughing at you…(ノロ≦。)!………………

…”Onechanbara” can do that too……


……I just thought I’d give you the *heads up*~.! 😛


About MorningBerryz

Lover and free spirit who's interests in Japanese culture and the like are insatiable. I am of pure Japanese/Okinawan descent, love my cats, sleep and am a bit naughty at times :).
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8 Responses to 「Featured Post」“Um, so a bikini model walks into a bar full of zombies…

  1. Craig says:

    I think maybe I have an explanation for the bikini… It's like the film makers wanted Gravure but watching Gravure they thought "Hey these girls are hot but this is kinda boring ……… You know what would be cool? If there were like zombies n stuff and she had to kill em" haha yeah.


  2. You really crack me up!!..you're so funny!!…(^q^) and I can just imagine such a conversation occurring between producers~. =) Hmm..but does Craig get bored watching gravure idols♥?..(。ーωー。). The film was actually really *fun* I thought….a~h it just took a little while to get used to the way the fight scenes were shot as I'm not used to such flash movements by the actors~. ^ ^


  3. Tsuji_Eriku says:

    Well the movie has many things I like "girl in a bikini", zombies, action…all the things that should make something kick ass! That's why I picked up the game, but I'll give this a whirl, thanks for the in depth super review you really go all out, it is not in vain either cause I need another fan's opinion sometimes as I'm sure many others do too.Oh & in the game intro Aya was taking a shower in right before she embarked on the adventure so I wonder if she just ran out of the house in her bikini cause it was hanging in the bathroom? idk sorry I'm gonna stop analyzing the bikini part.


  4. I really think it's the way that the fight scenes were shot though that may or may not be the movies greatest turn off. Instead of using realism they shot everything for the most part in quick flashing movements with Aya & Saki so it may really hurt the overall look of the film I think. It'll just depend on how much video game like is too video game like for as movie…I love how a film like Azumi was filmed with its fight scenes and I was sort of hoping for much more of that. Still "Onechanbara" has really fun and entertaining aspects to it that I really enjoyed…I do hope you like it although I would totally understand if you find it bad. =)A~h! that would explain the bikini!…(^q^) I think they may have used part of the game's animation in the opening credits? Thank you for explaining the bikini thingie as while it's *sexy* it's still really odd. ^ ^


  5. mikeymikez says:

    hehe Have you seen the Brit Zombie comedy Shawn of the Dead?! :p

    Sounds like it has enough bikini and kinky stuff to amuse… Any girls you know from before? Like you met in cold bar? ^^

    Might get it from Amazon!


    • I’ve heard of it but I’ve never watched it…..is it gross?? I can take some zombie stuff but if it’s too much lol although this movie was quite over the top itself :P.

      I wonder…you may like it? The fight scenes though weren’t shot with any realism in mind so if you can get past that aspect the film is entertaining….I guess you have to approach is as its video game counterpart and then it’s okay. The whole bikini thing is quite gratuitous~* :P…..I wouldn’t you wear much more if you were out battling the undead for days and days lol xD? Let me know if you decide to watch….


  6. mikeymikez says:

    Have you seen this one? I saw it at 2010 SDAFF and the crowd went wild! ^^


    Price is good too! There was some other one that had Samurai vs Aliens!! lol


    • oMG! I’m nearly 100% sure that this is the film that a friend was telling me about a few months ago…..he was at a 7~Eleven I think it was and they were setting up one of those movie vending machines inside so there was a promotion too going on complete with some girls dressed up in seifuku for the part :O!! He received a coupon for a discount off the rental but I don’t think he ever did watch it……the write~up sounds a bit bizarre lol I wonder if I would like it =).


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